Hockey Guy
Hockey Guy asked me, for the third or fourth time since I started here at Cognos 18 months ago - "Hey Mike, you play hockey, right?"
Mike: "Right. Why?"
Hockey Guy: "Well, I don't mean for this to sound weird, but, how good are you?"
Mike: "How good am I?"
Hockey Guy: "Yea, how good are you?"
Mike: "You mean how many goals do I score every game against old doodes who are just happy to get through the hour without keeling over?"
Hockey Guy: "Umm, yea, I guess."
Mike: "Why do you ask?"
Hockey Guy: "Well, there's an opening in Div One of the high tech hockey league team and I was wondering if you want to play."
Mike: "But you want to know if I'm good enough right?"
Hockey Guy: "Right."
Mike: "Let's assume I'm not good enough. Besides, I have a policy against playing with refs. Guys try to see how much they can get away with when refs are present. Seeing as at 35 years of age I'm probably NOT going to make it to the bigs, I prefer to play with guys I know who police themselves."
Hockey Guy: "Well, if you're worried about fights..."
Mike: "I'm Irish, I'm not worried about fights."
Hockey Guy: "Well, if you were worried about fights, we've got rules against it... if you get in one fight you're suspended for four games, and if you get in another after that you're gone for the season."
Mike: "I think you've just illustrated why I don't play "competitive" hockey anymore. Thanks for the offer, but I'll pass. Besides, I'm not good enough, remember?"
---------------------
Backstory: Hockey Guy is also manifested in other regions as Softball Guy, and Baseball Guy. He's the mid-30s doode who can't seem to give up the organized team competitions that are geared specifically for those 18 years of age and younger. "Insert Sport" Guy here always has a chip on his shoulder - some coach didn't like him, and prevented him from "making it" or some college scholarship "just fell through at the last moment"... Puleeze. If we had enough talent, and we worked hard enough to exploit that talent, we'd have made it. Look for "Insert Sport Here" Guy at your local rink, diamond, or even around your office. I'm sure there's one nearby.
Mike: "Right. Why?"
Hockey Guy: "Well, I don't mean for this to sound weird, but, how good are you?"
Mike: "How good am I?"
Hockey Guy: "Yea, how good are you?"
Mike: "You mean how many goals do I score every game against old doodes who are just happy to get through the hour without keeling over?"
Hockey Guy: "Umm, yea, I guess."
Mike: "Why do you ask?"
Hockey Guy: "Well, there's an opening in Div One of the high tech hockey league team and I was wondering if you want to play."
Mike: "But you want to know if I'm good enough right?"
Hockey Guy: "Right."
Mike: "Let's assume I'm not good enough. Besides, I have a policy against playing with refs. Guys try to see how much they can get away with when refs are present. Seeing as at 35 years of age I'm probably NOT going to make it to the bigs, I prefer to play with guys I know who police themselves."
Hockey Guy: "Well, if you're worried about fights..."
Mike: "I'm Irish, I'm not worried about fights."
Hockey Guy: "Well, if you were worried about fights, we've got rules against it... if you get in one fight you're suspended for four games, and if you get in another after that you're gone for the season."
Mike: "I think you've just illustrated why I don't play "competitive" hockey anymore. Thanks for the offer, but I'll pass. Besides, I'm not good enough, remember?"
---------------------
Backstory: Hockey Guy is also manifested in other regions as Softball Guy, and Baseball Guy. He's the mid-30s doode who can't seem to give up the organized team competitions that are geared specifically for those 18 years of age and younger. "Insert Sport" Guy here always has a chip on his shoulder - some coach didn't like him, and prevented him from "making it" or some college scholarship "just fell through at the last moment"... Puleeze. If we had enough talent, and we worked hard enough to exploit that talent, we'd have made it. Look for "Insert Sport Here" Guy at your local rink, diamond, or even around your office. I'm sure there's one nearby.
posted by Mike McAllister @ 2:07:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home